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BritNerf Insult Fourm

Sometimes you just want to post an insult  Razz.
Here is a place to post any insult you want!
Make up whatever type you want and post it here if you want.

I'll preface these with a warning to know your audience before using them. I'm also imagining these used in a friendly, face-to-face game scenario, rather than slagging someone off anonymously online with the intent to cause deliberate offence.

I'd rather use a Deploy than your blaster

You've a better chance of hitting something if you just throw your bloody blaster!

What does your blaster perform at? 120 fails per second?

So you're the zombie's first course then/Nice of you to offer yourself as a zombie appetiser.

[if a player is complaining about the game/their blaster/the rules/being tagged etc.] Hey, the only whine I want to hear is that of flywheels at full spin!

I could fart a dart further than your blaster fires.

Oh, you have a Rival blaster? The only thing it'll rival is your disappointment when I tag you first.

I see that you're trying: my patience that is.

My granddad could shoot better than you do, and he's dead. [substitute suitable family member/deceased celebrity as necessary]

I'll tell you what, how about I just stand here and you throw a handful of darts at me? You might hit me then.

Your aim is so bad you couldn't even hit yourself.

You know how snipers are silent and not seen? Yeah, if you could do the same that'd be great.

You're as much use as a Mega Centurion!

If you call them bullets again I'll make you eat a dart. (same applies for "clips") [Possibly too threatening. Don't use it on newbies or kids who don't know better!]

C'mon guys, there are no participation awards in a Nerf war!

What's got two thumbs and is gunna kick your arse? Me! (point to self with both thumbs up)

You should mod your blaster.... into something that actually works.

Well at least you can draw enemy fire away from me I guess.

You'd be more effective with an actual magazine rolled up and used as a melee weapon.

What do you mean, "what's Humans Vs Zombies?" It's like when the ugly kid used to be "it" when you played kiss chase in the playground, only this time you're not "it". [Again, know your audience before using this one]

What's the most accurate type of darts? Any type that aren't in your blaster.

Stormtroopers shoot more accurately than you.

[if someone keeps getting hit lots] Where's your red shirt today?

Have you considered a hobby that you'd actually be good at? Professional sleeping perhaps?

[if someone starts getting angry/upset/taking things too seriously] There are people all over the world with real problems, and here you are getting upset whilst playing with kids toys.

Your mod is so bad Hasbro wish you hadn't thought of that. [totally ripping off Justajolt here]

Somewhere out there a Deploy is smiling; knowing it's no longer the worst blaster ever.

I guess you could try surrendering? At least that way you'd probably get shot less.

Your aim is so bad if you tripped over you'd miss the floor.

Can you define the word effective? Nope, neither can your blaster.

There's no shame in getting hit by a kid... no, wait, there totally is.

Wow, high FPS and DPS! It's like the Nerf equivalent of a midlife crisis Porsche.

Just because it can be done, doesn't mean it should be done.

You're such a liability I bet you need LARP-safe cutlery.

Your aim is so bad it makes blind people look like marksmen.

What're you trying to achieve with your terrible shooting? Make the enemy laugh themselves to death?

Don't worry, we were all new once. Wait, haven't you done this before....?

[If someone calls "I'm hit" reply with] Sounds about right (for you).

Tell me, what's more effective: wishing for world peace and happiness for all, or your blaster?

You should call your blaster Bob, cos it's always jammin'!

At least a broken clock is accurate twice a day.

You don't get martyrdom in a Nerf war so I don't understand why you're trying for it.

[When someone suggests a game type you don't like] I'd rather listen to Drac/Coop/Nerfboy/Justajolt/Xavier/(insert your least favourite Nerf-related YouTuber) reading the telephone book out loud.

What do rainclouds and your blaster have in common? Their contents fall straight to the floor.

Just stop. Stop now. Give up. Call it a day. Go home and have a long hard think about your life.

You're bad at Nerf. Think about that for a second. You're bad at something designed for kids to be able to master.

Remember that time you hit me? No, neither do I.

I see you have a Roughcut/Barrel Break/Diatron/Atlas. Twice the opportunity to miss eh?

Sledgefires are to Nerf as gutter barriers are to bowling. And yet you'll still probably miss the target in either situation.

The aim of a Nerf war is not to get shot as much as possible, despite what your recent gameplay would suggest.

You know that feeling of disappointment when your parents say they'll get you Nerf for Christmas, and they get you an off-brand breech loader that uses weird darts? Yeah, that's how I feel knowing you're on my team.

Yay, you're on our team! That's an extra meat shield for us to use.

(Damn, work is quiet this afternoon!)


We're watching this thread very, very closely. If it turns into any sort of CoC breach it'll get shut down and dealt with accordingly. Reminder of Clause 1 of the Code of Conduct:

1.We will not tolerate threatening or harassing behaviour of any kind (personal, sexual, racial, etc.). This includes comments posted in threads and in personal messages (PMs). Offences of this nature will be dealt with swiftly and carry the potential for a permanent ban.

Of course there are plenty of usable insults that you can throw at people to trash talk during games as a friendly thing. Personally, I like to ask people if they'd like the dart they just shot at me back. Normally I ask after I've tagged them and picked their dart up off the floor.

Alternatives include 'Your aim is so bad, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn at 3 paces'. Razz
Welsh Mullet

You're so weak you can't even use a Snapfire

You are more of a danger to your own team than the enemy.

It's sweet that you let your kids build your blaster for you.

(unless their kids did build it for them)

Not that I've been to a war..  And not that it's my nature but..

The only thing that accush*te can hit reliably is the floor.

Someone put the washer on? .. or is that your 'balanced' flywheels?

Hit your mag release and cut out the middle man! 18 darts hitting nothing but floor..  0.2secs!

Oi flanker! Are you playing with yourself out there?

Rebelle Scum.

Go apply some LiPo sweetheart.

Is that your loom burning or did the missus send you with pack up?

That sight must give you a great view of what you're not hitting!

HPA? I fart in your general direction!

Hope you didn't hire those darts..  Not getting much use out of them are you?

Sorry..  Was that at me?

.. So give me time..  I can do better. I'm happy with Rebelle Scum though lol

I've got a few that I use.

(Against somebody with an NXT Crossbow)
 "Get a real Nerf Crossbow!"
 "Add some filters on eBay!"

(When I just tagged them with an older blaster from far away)
 "So much for 'Elite Performance'!"
 "My plunger tube's bigger than yours!"
 "I can do this all night!"

Or, my favorite, "With how much you spent on that Retaliator, why didn't you just get a Crossbow?"

Minky wrote:
...Rebelle Scum.

This needs to be a T-shirt.

UKNerfWar wrote:
This needs to be a T-shirt.

Someone get some artwork together and I'll get t-shirts commissioned. Seriously. Very Happy
The Dark Kitten

Working on it.

Anyway on topic, "Your blaster looks like Buzzbee met with Zuru and decided to have a baby"

Your blaster's so ugly I mag dumped myself just so I don't have to look at it...
A Shakespearean twist-
You and me need to be better enemies.
I'll tag thee but I would infect my darts
Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee, like a Doomlands Double Dealer.
Thou sodden-witted Tek3! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine Arduino.

Great idea. Hasbro think of that for you?

Im sooo glad I wasn't the first to reply to this thread, my mind obviously works in a much different way! Think I just dodged the ban hammer 😂

My spring load is 10kg higher than your stock peasantry .

UKNerfWar wrote:
Minky wrote:
...Rebelle Scum.

This needs to be a T-shirt.

Not that it makes massive sense,  not that anyone could get the rights,  but my mind went straight to close up Vader but in rebelle livery lol

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