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OldNoob

Quick Contest- Win Duke Wintermauls Balls

I have a pair of "Dukes Balls" prototype Rival HIR's for you to win. They are cast in Silicone and were a failed attempt to produce tuned rival ammo. I bought them to raffle at Jamboree but Kev had that covered so I am giving you all a chance to win them. Picture tomorrow, they are ready to make into a key ring or jewellery if you ever fancied wearing Dukes balls as a necklace.

Ok, the rules are simple. In 20 words or less complete the sentence
" I deserve to keep Dukes' Balls because...."

Competition closes Saturday 24th October 2015 at 10pm BST.
Only open to Britnerf members. Postage free to anywhere in the world (within reason!)
My judgement is final.


ENTRIES OVER 20 WORDS WILL BE READ, LAUGHED AT, THEN IGNORED.
McRex

I deserve to keep Dukes' Balls because if dukes balls were a dead horse, I've beaten it to a bloody pulp. I have no intention of stopping.
OldNoob

Needs to be edited, 21 words.
Good start though.
UKNerfWar

I deserve to keep Duke's balls because my wife confiscated mine and I have forgotten what manhood feels like.
McRex

UKNerfWar wrote:
I deserve to keep Duke's balls because my wife confiscated mine and I have forgotten what manhood feels like.


In light of this, should I be chosen and not you, I would like to donate my Dukes Ball to you.
Arnikarian

Am I doing it right?


Balls when they're damp are called clammy,
But Silicone ones are less manly.
Now Duke's balls to the face;
would that be a disgrace,
Or double entendre and whammy?
Northwind

Excess verboseness!
Limits suggest haiku, only
Words; not syllables.
Arnikarian

A true Hiku then;


I want balls to fly.
Alas I have no Rival,
Brother will Suffice.
OldNoob

The contest is now closed- In view of my personal belief in the power of democracy and general laziness, I give you all the power to decide who gets Dukes' Balls.
Submit your vote, polling closes Wednesday. Remember vote for the funniest epithet, not highest post count.

If you can see two listings for UKNerfWar's poll option, then keep drinking and don't worry, it seems to be only counting votes once, even if it's showing twice.
McRex

tfw you're the only one who voted for McRex
haloxxbilly

I deserver dukes balls because DEEZ NUTS
OldNoob

Your entry cannot be considered because the contest FINISHED AT 10pm SATURDAY as clearly stated in my OP. Sorry.
haloxxbilly

OldNoob wrote:
Your entry cannot be considered because the contest FINISHED AT 10pm SATURDAY as clearly stated in my OP. Sorry.

Oh i thought that was u entering lol
OldNoob

There is also a post that says " the contest is now closed."
Even I am not so much of an egomaniac as to enter my own contest to win something I already paid for.
haloxxbilly

OldNoob wrote:
There is also a post that says " the contest is now closed."
Even I am not so much of an egomaniac as to enter my own contest to win something I already paid for.


I know but i thought it was someone else doing it herpa deep
OldNoob

Voting has now closed, so we have a tie, on 6 votes each. Since Dukes balls may only ship as a pair, I will use my powers as judge to award the balls to Arnikarian, since although UKNW has no balls anymore, he has far more toys to play with.
Arnikarian please PM me your address to get your prize! Thank you all for playing.
Arnikarian

Huzzah!

PM inbound
UKNerfWar

FIX! FIX!

Well done Arni. Long may you enjoy fondling Dukes balls.

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